My Dream makes sence.

Thursday night i had a really strange dream. (Even for me). A lot of it was a blur but what is still so clear to me was that i was stumbling around and fell off a pier into monster filled waters. I was to wobbly, for lack of a better word, to even lift my head out of the water. i saw parts of monsters and alligators and was really scared. Suddenly My friend Taylor grabbed my wrist and pulled me out one handed!
I was worshiping Friday with my dear friends the Berryhills, the Franklins, the DeGroots, Cammie Miller, Jacob Kohler, and a few others when i noticed something in my spirit telling me to lay aside my song and go find my sister. I obeyed and went and found her. I suppose i provoked her without meaning to because she shouted at me. This in itself is not rare. We are a loud pair. However, i believe there was something more warring inside me; For when I sat again and began to sing, i also began to weep uncontrollably. In my mind, all i could say to God was, " Did you really send me just to get my feelings hurt? Can I please know if there is truly a big picture?" My crying began to attract attention and a few of those around me began to ask if i was ok. Then Taylor, (you might compare her to a mighty man of valor only in my life.. a steadfast one) came and asked how she could pray for me. Tears pouring down my face, I found that i had no answer. I didn't even know what to ask God for! Taylor pulled me into an empty room and let me blubber what probably sounded absurd and not even like English. Her Prayer was prophetic! God blessed me so much through a prayer and I have felt at peace for the last several days! He Loves us! Oh how he loves!

One of the ways I am learning how to see God's heart and how to truly love him is through this passage that i couldn't get out of my head the other day while my cousins and i were making gift bags to give to homeless people.

Matthew25

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

a messy me

Tonight my eyes poured because I realized that i had become apathetic in almost less than a week! We started singing "I'm forgiven because you were forsaken, I'm excepted, you were condemned..." I couldn't take how i had thought I was so "good" before and how I know what a mess I really am!

And yet he truly will always be there for me! I must always set what he did for me and how much he loves me and how much he longs to be with me every day! My heart breaks! Emotions overflow! and the whole time i can only rock back and fourth thinking of this beautiful wild romantic God who wants to take me through a scandalously wonderful story of redemption!

Thank you, Jesus! You take my mess! You renew me and redeem my life!

Art series

Immanuel! this tattoo is my friend Jordan's. She got it the day of this pic! I should have said when i Posted it, but the Birds and Rose are my friend Bri's!

Been there

Have you ever had a parent turn their back on you when you were in pain? Have you been deserted by all your friends and men you trusted in your life? Have religious leaders let you down? Have you been in love and rejected by the very person you thought finally might SEE you? I have had all these and didn't think anyone understood. Now, while i am so tired, I see Jesus suffered all these things and more!! He will always see me!! He KNOWS and will hold me for as long as there is need and let me cry unashamed! He will always always listen, be there, whisper to me that he loves me. My perfect husband has been there. He will always be able to relate and have sympathy on what I'm going through! Thank you Jesus!!!

My Walls

These are some of my walls! Pieces that i am proud of and posters that I like. just a little inside for you; my dad designed the bright orange Shane and Bethany Barnard poster and the little one that looks like an eye chart! He's a better artist than he would admit.

Art series

As promised, here is some art that I am pretty much in love with and i really wanted to share! there will be more art of this kind as soon as i can get my camera and the canvases ( skin) in the same place!